Wednesday, June 28, 2006

JG plays NGT Hair Metal Night


IF YOU MISS THIS FUCKING SHOW, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!
Judge Genius will be playing the NGT 80's Hair Metal Night this Friday night. Come see us play some seriously old school tunes. I have 4 very important words for you. "It's the Final Countdown"! That's all we're going to say.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Brandon Moves To Shreveport

For those of you who don't know already, our guitarist Brandon has taken a job in Shreveport. Calm down. Don't worry it's not the end of th JG era yet. He will be commuting to and fro whenever needed. But this does mean that our shows will more few and far between. This will definitely make each show more explosive than the previous ones. We'll be so amped up on meth there may be a heartattack on stage. Now go buy our record.

Love and porn
JG

Wednesday, June 7, 2006

Rampaging Deer Trashes Apartment


Looks like the JG Deerhead has been up to no good again...

Rampaging Deer Trashes ApartmentFamily Pit Bull Knocked UnconsciousRACINE, Wis. (June 6) - Jerry Falkner and his family have been temporarily displaced from their apartment after a deer rampaged through it, but he's just glad the incident did not result in any problems worse than it did.
"I heard glass breaking and I thought someone was breaking in," he said of the incident Monday morning which awakened him as the deer broke through a window. "The next thing I know, a deer is running toward my room."

The animal ran into the bathroom, and the family locked it inside. But the Falkners did not immediately know that their pit bull, Shadow, was inside that room with the deer.

The deer kicked on the water, flooding the apartment, and briefly knocked the dog unconscious.

Police were able with the family's help to get the dog out of the bathroom, while leaving the deer confined, and Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources officials then tranquilized the doe and took it away.

Police Officer Victor Cera said the deer was apparently behind the apartment building when it was spooked by dogs let out of a kennel. Falkner said he believed the doe came through the window to elude children who cornered it near two 7-foot-high fences behind the apartment.

"In the 16 years that I've been doing this, I've seen all kinds of stuff," Cera said. "But this is probably the most bizarre."

Falkner said it could have been a lot worse.

"Imagine if it would have been this window," he said as he pointed to the window of a nearby room where his children, ages 5 and 6, had been sleeping when the deer arrived. "After this incident, it makes me think it's safer to stay on the second floor than the first floor."

Tuesday, April 4, 2006

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONGVIEW

Man, what a weekend.

For all of you who came out to see us in Longview on saturday night, thank you so very much. We had an absolute blast and the videos will be coming out soon enough. Of all the many Chinese/American restaurants we've ever played, Canton's Hawaii Club ranks amongst the very best. And we're not just saying that. We really REALLY fucking mean it. Hopefully we'll be back soon.

For those of you who missed the show, you missed a whale of a time. We'll try to recap it for you. Sam was late getting to the house on Saturday morning to leave, so the band scolded him appropriately. This was immedietly followed by a 6 hour roadtrip down I10, up I49, then down I20 where we exited the interstate and then missed the club, driving for several miles into neighboring Hallsville. We later realized that we were in the wrong town, but a kind word to the citizens of Hallsville: You have a very clean city. Keep up the good work.

We turned around and realized we missed the club because the sign was written in Cantonese, which was unfortunate because everyone knows the members of Judge Genius are more skilled in Mandarin, but oh well. We then checked into the Majestic Inn, watched the LSU/UCLA game, and drank a bunch of beer and got all fucked up. We had to quickly drink our sorrows away because Tyrus Thomas and Big Baby were shut down the entire game, and UCLA ran Glen Davis to death, causing one of the most disgusting and pathetic examples of American Basketball ever - the likes of which have never been seen before.

Then it was off to the club. Divergence played first and rocked the shit out of the place. Hats off to you boys. Great stuff and we hope to get you to BR one of these days. After that, the Way Highmen blew the doors off of the joint. There was beer swilling, foot tapping, and rock and roll bouncing off every wall as TWHM showed Canton's just "who was the high now". Great show, fellas.

Then JG got up there and threw down like no other. It was a good show and we enjoyed the dog shit out of ourselves. It also marked the intro of Jeedge the Deer Head, as well as several remarks about meth, whores, LSU basketball, Joe Donahue being for sale though also infected with Hepatits C (which isn't really true, we don't think), and Lord knows what else. Great crowd and great vibe from everyone in the room. Thanks to all who saw it.

Next thing I know, we were back in the hotel room eating the delicious meat loaf and mashed potatoes Canton's gave us (it was fucking awesome, seriously!), and talking about breasts that look like 50lb. bags of flour, and also talking about crapping out 9 volt batteries. Then we each slowly streamed out of consciousness.

TRULY an amazing weekend we will not forget. Thanks so very much to Dawn with Monarch Management and Cantons for setting up this show. We will be back there and cannot wait. If you bought one of our discs, crank that shit up. If you liked us, leave us a comment. If we disgusted you... also, leave us a comment

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Fuck Wham.


Wake me Up, Before you...no, wait. Fuck Wham!

Ok,
We have news. NEWS NEWS NEWS. This just in... This just in... (in news voice) pay attention to me, motherfuckers.

We're gonna be playing some shows in the near future. For those of you who made it out to the last show, wow. thanks so much. i don't know really what the hell happened, but boy did we fuck the shit up. i think we did a little bit too much crank before the show because the shit was non-stop. we were all falling down and shit. people were dancing. people were spilling beer into the monitors. talley was threatening to kill people. justin was pushing his drums over. wow... meth. what can i say?

coming up april 14th, Judge Genius will sort of be playing 80s Hair Metal Night at NGT. Justy will be playing the part of "DEF LEPPARD's DRUMMER's ARM" because he can't be there. So we'll make do. Since it isn't techinally Judge Genius without all of us (Can Voltron form without one of the lions? NO!), we'll be playing under a different name. So far the following names have been suggested:

1. Gay Metallica
2. Deaf Leopard
3. Def Lepper
4. The Kings Of Scat Porn
5. Quiet Riot II: Quieter, and not so Riotty

More are being suggested every day. Make sure you comment on this to get your picks in.

Also, we'll be playing Canton's in TEXAS with our Love Affair label mates The Way Highmen. If you miss it, you'll be missing the greatest experience of your life. So don't.

Anyways, we're off to play in traffic. Have a nice day. We love you. Seriously. If you are a Judge Genius fan, then we need to do it. Name the time and place. Let's GO!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

JG Poetry


JG Poetry

Feeling a little bored today, so here goes nothing.

Don't you look cute
by Sam

Don't you look cute?
Don't you look cute?
I had to go poot
In my new track suit.
I had too much fruit
And wore too much Brut.
put the TV on mute
...and... played a French Horn
with the dogs, and
shit..

Ok, that took a turn for the worse.

Now you motherfuckers try!

Tuesday, January 3, 2006

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!


Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Holy shit...

2005 in the books. 2006 WILL BE the year of the Genius! Hold your breath...

For starters, we send out our sincerest thanks to everyone that came out on saturday and to everyone that bought our record. We are forever in your debt. You are all our closest friends and we love you like brothers and sisters, seriously. We hope you enjoyed the show. There will be many more in the future so don't be shy. Just come on up and say hello.

The CD took a long time but we're very proud of it. The production came out top notch. Man, talk about polishing up a turd... (just kidding!). Justin did an unbelievable job recording and Jack Shaw did an outstanding job mastering. We're getting tons of compliments but those 2 deserve the lions' share. Thank you to the both of you.

Finally, we're headed to north Louisiana this weekend so if you want in, let us know. We'll be at The Blue Monkey in Monroe on friday, 1/6 and Lil Joe's in Shreveport on 1/7. Don't worry, we're bringing the full wardrobe.

That's about it. Also, we've resigned to Love Affair Records and Saturday was their reintroduction. Be on the lookout for some more great stuff they're gonna be putting out this year. Some great bands around the corner.

See you soon. We love you!