Oh. A Poem!

and now, a little poem for you. judge genius style.


Look.
At my Balls.
They're smiling.

Look.
My SMILING Balls.
They're SHINY.

Walk away.
Get in the basement.
the badger walks with fire.

A little dog.
eating ice cream.
the badger walks with him.


so what did you think? if you LIKEY... come on down to Ichabod's this TUESDAY night for a big ass evening filled with local music. bROTHER, Last Chance Dave, 3 Ring Circus, Poor Harvey, Nail in the Brain, and Judge me-not Genius. i'm not sure of the cover... but it can't be that much. i guarentee some type of debachery.

see you there.
the badger

JG's Spirit Of Christmas

hope you all had a good christmas. ours was great. brandon got a new XBox. Mike got a new blow up doll because he popped his other one due to "extreme conditions". justin got a pony. sam got a new shiny quarter. paul got 4 lbs. of sugar. adam got some paint chips. it was great. we all ate turkey. maybe some ham too. i put all my food in one bowl and then mashed it and stirred it furiously until i had a holliday malt. then i poured it down my gullet and took a nap. then i rubbed cranberry sauce on myself and went and basked in the sun. hot dog. i hope your hollidays treat you well. see you at ichabod's on new years eve. peace. on earth.

JG.com Goes Through Some Changes, but yeah. REQUEST OUR MUSIC!

hello hoes. this site is gonna be going through a few changes soon, so make sure you watch for it. i hope you haven't gotten sick of us yet. we have 2 new songs... to add to.. our...um.. 7 other unrecorded songs, so listen up for them. thank all of you who request local music on KLSU and X104 as well. we'll be back in the red stick on Dec. 31, 2002 to send this mother fucking boring ass year out of here. that's it. i'm saying it. 2003 is the year of the genius. that new years eve show at ichabod's is gonna rock. see you then.

Love Affair Records @ The Spanish Moon

this friday, there's something to smile for. something to live for. something to listen to, and something to watch. it's the LOVE AFFAIR RECORDS SHOW, and it's at the Spanish Moon. love affair records is all about the love affair between musicians and their music. no corporate crap. just a few friends who hang out all the time. when we realized that we all shared the same practice room, we decided to form a coalition where we could hock each others wares at each others shows. we are up to 4 bands and we're adding more soon. JUDGE GENIUS, NAIL IN THE BRAIN, POOR HARVEY, TABU. we're all on the same bill this weekend at the s.m. and it's only $5. 4 bands. 5 bucks. don't you miss it. there's people from all around coming to see what we have going on in the red stick. i hope you'll come see too.

peace.

Blee

his saturday at Ichabod's, it's JG with Tabu and the VitaMen. we're gonna play music too. holy shit. 

thanks to all who came out to Lafayette to see us on saturday. that was sweet. we here at JG.com want to send out a special thank you to our soon to be dearly departed freind Jason Jeffers. Jason has been to nearly every judge genius show in the last year, and this week he moves home to tennessee. last saturday was his last weekend in the state, and he spent it with us in Lafayette. many thanks. yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah dawg... also, in one word : AHAB. that was some bad ass shit. anyone who has failed to see this band yet, you owe it to yourself. they kick major ass. hopefully we'll get them down in the BR real soon.

one more thing. we're, ...i mean, Mark Hotard... is hard at work on the all new Judge Genius Tee shirt. we've seen a proof and all i can say is PORN.

that's it. that's all i'm saying. yada yada yada... email me for a judge genius cd now.... sam@judgegenius.com.

boombasta boomYOW!!!
e-sam

Singers Just Water It Down - Oh, wait...

news. i almost forgot. on friday it's JG and NITB in CHANGES in Lafayette. supposedly there's another Laf band playing that plays instrumentals, and when bands only play instumentals, they're usually pretty good. i mean, singers usually only water the song down and.. hey. wait a damned minute... i'm the singer.

singers are great. shit.

Tabu, Secret Black, and PH do well @ The Caterie - At least somebody did...

oh no. lock the door. hide the children. the Love Affair Records SHOW is coming up. December 6 at the Spanish Moon. Poor Harvey, Nail in the Brain, TABU, and Judge Genius all in one night. we're gonna have oodles of merch too. get ready. that's all i'm saying about it.

for all of you who came to the Caterie to see us, muchos gracias. we got kinda f'ed by the caterie because they decided to bump us to 4:30. they were like, "so, JG... how about we just slide you to the earliest slot while you told everyone to come at around 5:30. yeah, thanks." fuck it. Tabu rocked balls, and from what i heard, SBS did too. I heard Poor Harvey was kick ass also. in fact, they're playing this friday at Ichy's with the Red Stick Ramblers. you'll find us JG monsters there. Hell yeah. either way, it was a good weekend for local, ya'll. plus no cover bands.

how did we get so lucky?

How Many Bar Owners Know All The Words to a Clutch Song? Well Eric B does.

yo kiddies,
man, was that some shit or what? all of us had a blast on halloween night jamming out. thank you for welcoming JG back. everyone seemed to be into it. it was a wierd vibe. almost like everyone there was in on something. either way, it was insane. it was one of the biggest crowds ichabod's has ever had... around 270 to 300 people. and with everyone all jumping around together in unison, screaming, head bobbing...hell yeah. i wanna thank paul johnson from Poor Harvey and Eric B. for singing "Speedhump" with us, and give props to Eric for knowing all the words to "a Shogun Named Marcus". that was wild. how many bar owners do you know that know all the words to a Clutch song? wild, man.
we're playing again at the Caterie on November 9th, at like... 5 in the afternoon. Check the "Shows" section to find out all the other bands playing, becasue all i can say is you'll be totally retarded to miss this one. plus our band room is next door and the fridge will be stocked with all the Natty that'll fit.
see ye all theneth,
Judgeth Geniuseth the Terrible

Somebody shot Jam Master Jay = So Let's Play A Show

yo,
today i read in the news that Jam Master Jay, the Dj from RUN-DMC was shot and killed last night. that sucks. may he rest in peace. he was one of the pioneer, old school dj's that started rap, and one of the best.
anyway, tonight is halloween, and that means we're gonna do it right. tonight you can catch judge genius if you come early enough at ichabod's. we play around 11, and we're all gonna be in costumes and shit. it's gonna be fun and i'm really looking forward to it. 
see you at the show.
peace to the middle east,
the judge.

JG Sucks Up To The SXSW Entry Folk

today we entered the South By Southwest Festival (or SXSW for all you trendy acronym people) and now we wait to see if we get picked. now, i hear that usually that's pretty hard to do. well, not waiting to see if you got picked, but getting picked. that's hard. fuck. will they like us? did i put the JG Website URL on the little bio we sent? if so, let me make this clear : everyone involved in the SXSW band picking is extremely attractive, and brilliant as well. they have such poise, and they're the most intelligent people on earth. it's clear that they could have all gotten into Ivy League schools if they had wanted. They could all be surgeons and lawyers, but they opted to serve a bigger purpose... to discover unknown talent, and turn them into the biggest acts in entertainment. thank you for the time you have taken to view our website. we worship you, SXSW band pickers, and we truly revel in your presence.

and to the rest of you people, give us some money.
thank you.
enjoy judge genius.

NITB & Poor Harvey Release Records - Tabu in Nash-Vegas

gearing up for halloween? yeah, fools. judge genius returns on halloween night with NITB at Ichabod's on chimes. it's the soon to be legendary ICHA-WEEN party and it's gonna be fun. it's gonna be naughty. it's gonna be... well... fun and naughty. there. that's it. 

Nail In The Brain has a new record fixing to drop. Poor Harvey just dropped one, SONUS, and it is freaking great. hasn't left my cd player. TABU just returned from the Nashville Music Conference. It's just a great month for Love Affair Records, kids. give us a hug and a kiss. see you on Devils Night. Ha. Ha HA HA. HA HAA HA HOO HOOOO WHAAA. evil. PURE EVIL, daddy-o!!!!!!

Bullshit Websites to hear our stuff

if you would like to listen to some judge genius on the web... or if you are dying to hear us for free and don't want to shell out a few bucks for our cd, DAMMIT, then go here... cheap bastards.

http://www.redstickrock.com/mp3.html - the best site to check out all local baton rouge music, really good.

http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/187/judge_genius.html - check out some stuff we don't play much anymore, some o.g.j.g. if you will. retro genius from around 2000.

until then, we're going on yet another EUROPEAN TOUR. we'll be back in the states on Thursday, October 31 so watch for us then.

peace.
peas.
yeah.

The JG website got hits?

back so soon?!

what up, bitchez? we have had a bitchin weekend and i just gotta give a few shouts out. word up to all you lafayette cats. we had a blast kicking out the jams at Changes. we're coming back in November for sure so check your friendly judgegenius.com for the info. much respect to the Sorrento Battle of the Bands, the people that put it on, and the bands that played. we had a good time there too. never before has this band played twice in one day and i hope we can do it more often. but getting trashed twice is tough. know what i mean? you get your morning drunk on and that's easy. but coming down and then trying to get drunk again is a bitch. you can just drink and drink and drink and all you get is a full gut. what a rip. i know paul may somehow pulled it off, but i'm not so sure about the rest of the band.
i'm noticing a lot more hits that usual over the last couple of months, so i need to belt this out. if this is your first trip to JG.com, don't be alarmed by the massive sucktitude. this is our first website. it's like for little kids. you remember your first whacking experience? that's what this website is like. the first time you masterbated, it was cool but it's gotten better over the years, you know? we're trying to make this better so bear with us. till then, smoke some wit ya homies.
peace,
tree
the JG webmasta boombasta.

JG at Poet's - But not that you really need to go...

hey,
tonight we'll be at poet's with more madness fufillment and 3 ring circus. we hope you can come but we understand if you can't. that's all we're gonna say. we're opening up the show so it will be a short set for us. kind of coffee shop-like, but in a dance club. come see us. we'll slap you on the back. we'll stick our toungues in your ear. NO TALLEY, I SAID 'EAR', NOT 'REAR'!!!
one thing's for sure. this will be the last show in baton rouge until halloween for judge genius so don't ask us to play. we may do something stupid and do it because we like to play so much. we want to give you all a break and work on some new stuff. we're not too far from starting on the new album and we'll need to work pretty hard on that. this will give us a chance to hang out with everyone and go check out other local shows. sam's picks of the week are last chance dave, poor harvey, and brother. go check them out. we'll see you there.
peace.

Hijinks at another Love Affair Show? Nooo, you don't say...

thanks to all who came out to the show last saturday. whether it was the monitor bursting into flames, that dude getting beat up, beaver opening the box full of NUGGET magazines onstage and later losing the ability to talk, the super jam with JG, Tabu, Nail in the Brain, Brother, Silko, Proper English, or all the naked chicks, we had a blizzast. thanks to the Secret Black Society for putting on a bad ass show too. i know you all loved it because i saw you getting down and grooving with your secret black selves. fucking a. FUCK YEAH!!! shit, dawg. that was fly. we'll be back on august 10 with the kenmores and sola. then again August 21 at the Varsity. plus we got some shows in September and October, including an All Ages Show with Knever, Brother, and others!!! till then, we're out like a light. peace. i'll update the page next week for sure.

Some People Don't Like You

you know, i was sitting on the couch last night just chilling when one of my bandmates filled me in on a little secret: that there's people in baton rouge that don't like us. now that's just plain crazy. how could anybody not like us? we never started beef with anyone. the JG machine is just out to have a little fun. don't take all this horseshit seriously. just to let you all know - we'll play with anyone, anywhere, anytime. just email us, call us, find us and you got yourself a show. the only thing we ask is half of the door and that's not being greedy. in fact if you open for us, half of the door is yours. always. period. so next time you want to talk shit about a band in town, talk about someone else, you little bastard.

Love Affair Show went well, except for "Mullet" (apparently) and the JG Blog gets mean again

ok you stinking maggots,
a loud, hell yes to all a ya'll that got your asses down to that show on friday. man, what the hell was that? it was crazy. you people were going apeshit. except during "mullet" which we never want to talk about again. that didn't need to happen and we're sorry. not too sorry but nonetheless. the good news is that we're working on that new website right now. plus we got more Love Affair news coming your way, and more merch crap. stickers, t-shirts, EVERYTHING!!! even girl t's and tubetops (maybe). and coke cans that we've signed. and dirt and rocks. ok, fuck it. FUCK IT!!! why do i waste my fucking time with you?! you don't like us anyway. good for you that we don't have a FUCKING THING coming up. we're not playing until July 27. what do you think about that?

Love Affair Launch Date - Jun 28, 2002 @ Ichabod's

the launch date is finally here. on friday, june 28, you will be able to slide on down to Ichabod's and buy merch from 4 bands : JG, Poor Harvey (who will be playing the show as well), Nail in the Brain, and Tabu. i hope i will be able to see you all. what if i was blind and i couldn't see. man, that would suuuuuck...
piece.

The JG Blog Gets Mean

on wednesday, we're heading over to ICHABOD's to play with Silko and Octavius. you filthy, shit-eating, motherfucking maggots better be there. ok. that was a little harsh. i'm sorry. wait...... where you goin? ......what? I said i was sorry... didn't you hear me? come on. ........ don't go...please...... COME ON!. I SAID I WAS SORRY, DAMMIT!!! 


FUCK!!!



FINE THEN! GET OUTTA HERE!!! WHO NEEDS YOU?!!! BEAT IT!!! 

wait. are you going to a porn site? take me with you.

"Surf Satan - His Pay Is Your Hell"

back from vacation, and time to update the old JG website. what up, suckers? i just got back from Panama City, got fucked up every day for a week and now i'm sick as hell. i guess you get what you pay for. is it really a vacation if you can't remember it? oh well. anyway, next show is over at Ich's on June 19 with Silko and Octavius. make sure you come see that shit. after that, we'll be at Kirk's new bar in Gulfport with Brownsox. watch for the date here on judgegenius.com. also, watch the site for some updates soon. i'm learning frontpage, and while i know that's the web page "pussy-way-out", i think it will be updated a lot more often then this page. new pictures and links that work. WOW! i don't even think we look like the pictures on this page anymore. hell... i weigh 280lbs now. i use a motorized wheelchair like john popper. brandon dooley and justin hilbun have both had sex changes since those old pics. man oh mannnnnn...... remember the old days. back when justin and brandon were guys and i could walk? oh how i miss them. plus, wait until i can post the pics of our "new" members paul may and mike talley. you'll all cringe and vomit at the sight. BLLLLLLLLEEEEEEAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! ok, peace out. i'll leave you with a thought: "Surf Satan... his pay is your hell...""" (an actual sign outside a church that me, ash, train, and dustin saw on the way back from FLA. oh those fucked up floridians...)

The "Sam Drinks Too Much" Tour

we're playing with Silko on the 19th. it's a wednesday and i know how you all love to get shitfaced on a wednesday. you know, it's really all beginning to make sense to me now. i drink, then i sleep, then wake up for work. all day i feel like shit run over twice, but by about 4 in the afternoon, i'm all ready to do it again. what a concept. perhaps you'd all like to join me on the "Sam Drinks Too Much" tour, which will be making a tour stop over at Ich's tonight. Nail in the Brain and Poor Harvey are gonna be there, and you'll wanna be there too. so, see you all then.
-your eternal friend,
sam t.
the greatest man in the world

(from the JG blog) The Bayou Burns Down

well kids,
as many of you probably know, the Bayou on Chimes St. has been reduced to a pile of smoking ash and soot. as we were all watching it burn yesterday, Jeff Brumfield walked up to us and told us that we were playing a "Good By to the Bayou" show over at Ichabod's today, Memorial Day (5/27), to give that nasty, filthy, dirty joint a proper send-off. so come on down and see us. it's gonna be fun. Brother, Nail In The Brain, and Judge Genius will kind of play the Bayou for the very last time tonight, so i hope you all check your email and your favorite website here on holiday's. 

see you there.
JG

Love Affair Gets Kicked Off

howdy there.. just wanted to stop by and say hi to you little mutants. starting a few weeks ago, the Love Affair Records idea has been being planned, so be sure to check out judgegenius.com for the coming info on that. Nail in the Brain will be at Ichabod's on May 31 so be sure you get your asses out there. we're playing at Kirk's Bizzar down in Gulfport, MS sometime next month, so be sure to come on out and drink, gamble, and sin with us. Love Affair will be kicked off with some cool ass shit, so get ready cuz it's gonna be fun. ok? so see you little bastards on the flip side.
sam

PH and Triad Heretics @ Ichabod's

yo mah nizzos,
what up? thanks to all the peeps for coming out to the show last saturday. it was a hoot. we all had one hell of a time. 
as for this weekend, there's nothing new with judge genius. you people keep to the street though cuz there's always some fly shit happening out that way. tonight it's poor harvey and the triad heretics over at ichabod's. we'll all be there so come say hello.
thanks, peace.

(from the JG blog) - The Love Affair Era Begins

hey kids. on saturday, all your pals in judge genius and nail in the brain will be up at old ichabod's for some rock action. come check it out, won't you? if you see a flier for this show somewhere and you see the words "love affair" on it, allow me to explain : judge genius and NITB have formed a music coalition if you will... not a label or a production company but a coalition. the coined phrase is "a love affair between musicians and thier music" as blake sansone so elegantly put it. we want to further our involvement in local music and love affair will help us do that. it's a full, all out, total support line for all original local music. if you like our little idea, come gab with us after the show about it. if you hate our idea then you can go run off and die, you rotten little bastard you... we never liked you anyway and niether did your mom. fuck off....WHAT?!...what did you just say to me?...oh, well i hope your ass can cash those checks your mouth is writing!...come on!...yeah, that's right!...(BAM!! CRACK!! BIFF!!!) YOU LIKE THAT?! HUH?! cause there's more where that came from!!!

we love you 4-eva,
judge genius

*Editors Note from Feb 12, 2013 - I'm pretty sure I - Sam - wrote this. I would like to apologize for how stupid it came off. I don't remember what internet newsposting was back then. Hell, I'm pretty sure I don't now either. But cataloging all the old stuff from old Judge Genius websites is a little sleuthy and I suppose it's definitely good to have. So I guess this is where the old term came from. Hmm. Imagine that...

PH helps out JG

we want to send out a shout to Poor Harvey for helping us out in a tight spot this weekend. so.... here it is : HEY!!!!! THANK YOU!!!! in a few weeks all of us from JG will be playing at a local talent show at New Orleans. watch this board for upcoming info if you wanna come out and support.

and we'll be at Ichabod's May 5 with NITB... see you all then.

JG at the Bayou

NEWS NEWS NEWS. auf weisen schiet. nevermind. there's a new judge genius show about to kick off for all you kiddies over at the Bayou this Friday. I don't know who will be playing with us, but make no mistakes. it will be entertaining. in an unrelated story, i got drunk with my family this weekend and it was kind of odd. do you know what i'm talking about? that wierdness? if not, go get drunk with your folks and tell me what it's like. 
in other news... i had some chicken strips for dinner last night.

Paul May and Mike Talley era begins

just wanted to thank all of you for coming out to support us at the Spanish Moon last Friday. i hope you all had as much fun as i did. this shit is sounding great with Paul May and Micheal Talley. i got to hand it to the little bastards. 
remember... if you want a cd, email me. you might want to get this one soon so you can still hear us play stuff that's on it. it seems that every show that comes around, we phase an old one out and slap a brand new one in it's place. not that i'm complaining... it looks like we may have a new one out before too long. AREN'T YOU EXCITED?!! i know that i am.

Mike T leaves... and Mike T enters? Wha?

howdy you little bastards,
unfortunately, we have some bad news... and that doesn't happen very often. after much soul searching and deliberating, mike terito has decided to retire from judge genius. it's very sad to lose a member of our little club but he'll still be there in spirit. don't worry, we still get drunk with him. filling in for mike's spot will be, well... mike. mike talley, the shining oddity drummer from Nail In The Brain. there will be much leaping about behind the standup drums, rest assured.
plus to top it all off, we have a new show coming up. march 8 at the spanish moon with 4 square and the human record. don't miss it, you little ass nugget.
be sure to check the judgegenius.com for updates cuz this site is about to change up a whole lot.

hee hee!!! piece. no, um... peace.

Blake Makes Fun Of Sam's Press Kit

what up you little bitch ass trick ho motherfuckers,
we're back. and we're pissed. i could tell you that the reason we've been gone so long is because we were on a european tour or something, but that would be a huge lie. probably a bigger lie than i told on our shitty press kits that blake sansone made fun of me so much for. so i'll tell the fucking truth. we haven't been doing ANYTHING! we've all been sitting on our fat asses and doing nothing. but alas.. i'm afraid that must change. so on march 8th, we'll be at the Spanish Moon with FOUR SQUARE and THE HUMAN RECORD. i sincerely hope we see you all there. in fact, we better see you all there. peace.

don't forget. www.killerllama.com.

Go See NITB, Go See TABU...

hey kids.. another day, another dolla. JG is taking it easy right now, maxing and relaxing and enjoying the hell out of it. we'll be back in march for sure so don't worry. fear not. ok? OK?! check out www.killerllama.com till then. go see some other bands. go see Nail in the Brain. go see Tabu. just go see somebody.

A Waste of Blog Space

yo,
still not too much happening. i just wanted to say hi. so hi!
be back later.
sam

judgegenius.com goes live.

wecome to judgegenius.com, the OFFICIAL website of judge genius. in fact, the ONLY website for judge genius. the cd release went off without a hitch, and we're very thankful to all of you who attended and bought a copy. much love. we also want to send some shouts out to the Skullniks for putting on a great show. if you caught the show on Jan. 11, then you were also in for a treat. we played at the Bayou with Sola, after RF-7-whatever... cancelled. great show. i had heard a lot about them and finally got a chance to see them. it was great.
now, i don't know what you're doing on wednesday night, but you could just ride on down to New Orleans and watch JG and Nail in the Brain at the Hi-Ho lounge. i'm anxious to see what Blake does to the crescent city. i'm sure they've probably heard of him. unfortunately, this is going to be the last JG show of the season. we're gonna take some time off to re-energize our show and write some more new stuff. we're playing in march i think, but that'll just be for a few shits and giggles... to make sure we don't lose our edge.
if you want a copy of the new record, just burn it from a friend. you have our permission. but if you like the artwork, pictures, and funny words along WITH your music, email me. sam@judgegenius.com. BYE!!!!